It’s not about the Bangs.

It's not about the Bangs.

I’m Kat! This is a picture of me the day I got bangs for the first time since, like, 4th grade. That may sound ridiculous, to take such a happy selfie of bangs, of all things, but it meant something to me.

Mostly because everyone was telling me not to get bangs. My friends, my hairdresser… every time I said “I think I want bangs” they were like, no you don’t. Your forehead is too small for bangs. Your hair is too thick for bangs. Then you’ll have to keep cutting them to keep it up. All good points.

But I wanted them. And I felt defeated. I would shrink back and think, “yea… maybe I don’t want bangs after all…”

Then one day it clicked. Why was I seeking permission for this? (Hint: I do that a lot. It wasn’t about the bangs.)

So I went to the salon, pulled out a picture of what I was thinking, and said, “I want bangs like this. How can you make this work for me.” No “I think”… no “maybe.” no I’m sorry to be bothering you with my existence and my persistent need for fringe. No question marks. I want them. Period. P.e.r.i.o.d.

“Ok” the lady at Supercuts said, mostly consumed by some distant thought and not really concerned at all that this was a momentous day in my life.

Really? Bangs? Momentous? It wasn’t about the bangs, guys. It was about being assertive. Asking for what I want in a way that says, “I matter and I deserve it.”

So, go out and grab something today. Get the bangs you’ve been wanting, whatever they may be. (Remember to always do no harm and to handle the souls in your care, whether it’s your kids, your partner, or your friends with great respect. But don’t think that means for a second that you can’t have bangs.)

Your turn: Send me your selfie doing something you’ve always wanted to do!

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